No, Thank you.

"Thank you." A polite reply.

"No, thank you," A polite way to give a negative answer. When you hear, “No, thank you” and  you are human and depending on the situation, the "No" may seem like it is shouted and the "thank you" is heard barely as a whisper.

If you have ever tried out for a team or a part in a play or a chair in an orchestra 

and NOT been picked, 

If you have ever applied for a job and NOT been hired,

If you have ever volunteered for a position and NOT been selected,

If you have ever wanted to be a part of some group event and NOT been invited,

Then you know how much the polite answer of "No thank you" can hurt.

A "No, thank you" is rejection at some level. It's a common experience. And it hurts. 

Depending on the importance of the position wanted, the intensity of our desire to have it and the expectation of our getting it, the hurt can be deep. 

Oh how good it is to have multiple years behind me!  Multiple years of experiencing the common highs and lows and knowing God has walked with me all the way. Multiple years of knowing His providential control of every detail of life extends to all of my gains and losses. After rejection - that still is a part of my life in my 60’s - I am able to come to a place of rest in God’s sovereignty so much sooner than when I was a young woman.

Many years ago, I heard a presentation of spiritual gifts from 1 Corinthians 12. 

“Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone.” (verses 4-6)

Notice the words I highlighted.  Gifts, service and activities will vary. God is the same. 

Gifts - the God given abilities I have. Specifically gifts to serve His church

Service - the area where I will use my gifts or how I will use my gifts to serve His church

Activities - the outcome or result of using my gifts or what effect my gifts will have on His church.

These things all differ from one person to another.

Most of us have understood that people in the church have different gifts. What does it mean to have different areas of service or different activities? 

Two people may have the same gift of teaching. But they may have different areas of service. One will use it to teach in a women’s bible study. One will use it to teach a 3rd grade Sunday School class. 

Two people may have the same gift and the same area of service, but they may have different activities. One highschool teacher may see dozens of kids come to know Christ and have several make commitments to full time Christian ministry. One highschool teacher may faithfully teach without any “dramatic” signs of growth. This is often seen in cross-cultural ministry. 

“But it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone.” 

God chooses what gift to give you, where you will use it, and how “effective” it will be.

After meditating on these truths, this is the prayer I wrote:

May I find security and fulfillment in being an individual member of the body of Christ believing that the various gifts,

the diverse areas of service

and the disparate outcomes of that service

are determined by your wisdom and grace for your glory and our good. 

I come back to this prayer when I experience rejection. Perhaps I didn’t get to use my gift in an area I thought I should. Perhaps I didn’t see the outcome I had hoped for. Is this not all of God?

Out of these experiences I have prayed:

May the praise or criticism or rejection of people be a very small thing to me.

You - my savior and master - have given me both gifts and responsibilities.

May my desire to hear your “Well Done!” dampen (until it is extinguished)

the desire to heed the judgments of people.

They see only surface things and that imperfectly.

You - my life, my love, my all - see all. 

This quote from Henry Scougal, which I have written in my journal, steadies me in seasons of rejection. 

“Never doth a soul know what solid joy and substantial pleasure is til once, being weary of itself, it renounce all propriety, give itself unto the Author of its being, and feel itself become a hallowed and devoted thing, and can say, ‘I am content to be anything for him, and care not for myself, but that I may serve him.” Henry Scougal

And finally, I often come back to 1 Corinthians  15:10. It is really all about Grace. 

“But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.”

And for all the grace I have received, I say, “Thank you, Lord!”

I have received much heart help from Every Moment Holy

https://www.everymomentholy.com/volume-1

Check out Death of a Dream on pg. 232.

"Not my dreams, O Lord,

not my dreams,

but yours, be done."